Fighter Pilot University
FU Store

Fighter Pilot University 2008 Cheerleader Tryouts

Posted by admin on September 13, 2008

It’s a new academic year here at Fighter Pilot University and like all institutions of higher learning in the United States one of our top priorities was to ensure that our FU Ragin' Fightin' Angry Beaver cheerleading squad was ready for the new sports year. So, recently we had tryouts for our 2008-2009 cheerleader team. We had very limited openings, most of our cheerleaders were returning from last year. However, we opened up the competition to any and all hopefuls. Unexpectedly, one of our male students, Roger Entwhistle, applied for the position. Of course, we said females only, but he came prepared with a court injunction (bastard lawyers) requiring us to give him an equal and legitimate opportunity of making the team. 

Interestingly enough, we discovered that we had a newly implemented team rule that required any cheerleaders over 150 pounds to demonstrate the ability to lift any randomly selected cheerleader applicant. This is a critical skill for the power and acrobatic cheers that have also been implemented just this year. 
Well, by coincidence Roger, applicant 13, was the first aspiring cheerleader to be required to demonstrate this ability. We certainly cheered him on and as you can see, he almost pulled it off. We told him after his double hernia surgery that he’s more than welcome to tryout again.

You may ask, what about cheerleader applicant 00, didn’t she have to demonstrate this lift ability? That only seems fair and so politically correct.  First, it’s never polite to ask about a female's weight. So, PC be damned, no, she would not have had to exhibit her lift capability. Second, it’s pretty hard to compete at all when you’re wearing a leg cast after some loser drops you. Maybe next year.

Well, we decided those power and acrobatic cheers are just too dangerous and replaced them with individual jumping-on-tramopline cheers.


You must be logged in to leave a reply. Login »

Fighter Pilot University   |   1267 NW 355th, Holden, Missouri 64040   |   1-888-456-WTFO (9836)   |
© 2022 Fighter Pilot University. Web development by Shout Marketing