Fighter Pilot 101
Say what you will about him: arrogant, cocky, boisterous, and a fun loving fool to boot. He has earned his place in the sun. Across the span of 95 years he has given his country some of its proudest moments and most cherished military traditions. But fame is short-lived and little the world remembers.
USA F-15C Eagle
Photo by Jonathan Derden
Almost forgotten are the 1400 fighter pilots who stood alone against the might of Hitler's Germany during the dark summer of 1940 and gave, in the words of Winston Churchill, England "It's finest hour." Gone from the hardstands at Duxford are the 51's with their checkerboard noses that terrorized the finest fighters the Luftwaffe had. Dimly remembered, the Fourth Fighter Group that gave Americans some of their few proud moments in the skies over Korea. How fresh in recall are the Air Commandos who valiantly struck the VC with their aging "Skyraiders" in the rain and blood soaked valley called A-Shau? And how long will be remembered the "Phantoms" and "Thuds" over "Route Pack Six" and the flack-filled skies over Hanoi?
Barrel Roll, Steel Tiger, Tally Ho. So here's a "Nickel on the Grass" to you, my friend and your spirit, enthusiasm, sacrifice, and courage--but most of all, to your friendship. Yours is a dying breed and when you are gone, the world will be a lesser place!
Save a Fighter Pilot's Ass
Check out the New Silhouettes and our new FU Embroidered Wings on a Golf hat. Don't forget to customize your garb with your own callsign (click on edit text). We will be adding more aircraft in the coming weeks.
If you have a specific design combination you want, just e-mail us at Jolly@fighterpilotuniversity.com and we will get it loaded up for you. Additionally, there will always be discounts if you have a large order. Before placing your order, call our vendor at 1-888-8ZAZZLE (892-9953) or (408) 983-2800 to see if there are any discounts available.
Being considered a young buck still at age 22, I just wanted to show that some of us younger generation kids still have some pride in our military. I am currently an f-22 crew chief and this is something that I wrote before I enlisted. Hope you enjoy.
When evil walks the streets abroad and manifests this earth. The blood of innocent stains the ground as fear reveals its curse.
The demons of this world roam free and spread their evil deeds. They scorch the land till devoid of life to watch it burn and bleed.
When no god of man nor man of god, light our darkened path. us men of men turn men of god and weild his smiteful wrath.
Vengence brought through icy veins shall leave their cursed mark. To taint the pure to save the pure and play our righteous part.
Our rightious part of evil doings make evil beg and plead. We hunt them down and end their breath upon our nobel steeds.
We lead their way to the fiery gates, cross the river Styx. Arise the stench of pain and death, paved with brimstone bricks.
This life we live of love and hate weighs heavy on our chests. But forever shall it always be untill our final rest...
SrA Mitchell C
Roger, I was the Nickel doc back in the Eagle days at Luke.
Remember the days you could actually emulate some of this stuff?
A fighter pilot is one of those elite men who have been selected to fly sleek, sexy, supersonic aircraft in dazzling aerial combat, as well as put on cool air shows and pose for photographs. Only the best pilots in the world get to be fighter pilots. The rest fly slow, heavy, ugly aircraft used to haul rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong, or worse, Detroit.
Typically, fighter pilots wear elaborate uniforms which they claim are specially designed to be fireproof to protect them in case of an emergency. In actuality, however, the uniforms are made of a special type of cloth which repels beer stains. Note: You can tell the really "shit hot" fighter pilots by the zipper on the beer repelling uniform. The lower it is, the more skilled the aviator. These "flight suits" also allow a fighter pilot to be able to get dressed and undressed in under ten seconds flat, and also perform various skills such as "ball-walking," a maneuver that might otherwise be impossible or painful in normal attire
History In 1069, Lord Carolus Magnus, having just been defeated by Cossacks in the Battle of the Third Punic War, called his military councilors to discuss new military strategies and doctrine. After thirty hours of heated deliberation and enthusiastic discussion, the council started to get sidetracked, talking about boobs and poon and other topics which had no place in a professional military context. Fearing that letting this go on any longer would have the council completely out of control, the Lord's senior executive officer, Baron Manfred Richtofen, summoned the butler who delivered four and twenty flagons of beer. An hour later, the council (who were Irish) was back on topic, with all members inebriated, shouting, passing out at the table, and there was much grab-ass, and it was good. As the clock struck midnight, Baron Richtofen, himself subjected to the intoxicating beer, thought it a good idea to strap-on a cape and leap from the tower of the castle into a snow bank. They found him the next day, still intoxicated, lying in a ditch, uniform stained with his own vomit, and thus the fighter pilot was born.
In honor of this momentous occasion, he commissioned the sacred beverage: Jeremiah Weed. The game of CRUD was also invented on this night.
Fighter pilots have been a part of every major conflict since that day, making notable appearances in World Wars 1, 2, and 4. After the Vietnam War (actually it was after WWII, but why quibble over details?), the United States Air Force was created in 1947, and consists entirely of fighter pilots. In 1948, Chuck Yeager, the first American fighter pilot, became the first man to fly faster than the speed of Light (or maybe is was sound-either way, he went faster than hell)
Facts about Fighter Pilots
Fighter pilots are absolutely irresistible to women, who will drop their panties if a fighter pilot so much as enters the room.
Fighter pilots are highly skilled and take pride in their ability to consume massive quantities of alcohol, and can speak in complete sentences consisting entirely of swear words.
All real fighter pilots are men.
SO, how do you tell if a fighter pilot is in the room? Just wait a minute he'll tell you!
Fighter pilots always wear large dark sunglasses.
Fighter pilots drive the fastest, most flashy car money can buy, and they always have the speedometer on the peg.
The secret ingredient in Red Bull is sweat from a fighter pilots ass crack, which explains the drinks peculiar taste, and its ability to "give you wings"
Fighter pilots wear a bigger watch than you. It's an easier target for when they shoot it with their hands.
Fighter pilots do not high-five.
Fighter pilots do not carry briefcases.
Most fighter pilots chase women with cute asses. However, some F-15 fighter pilots have been known to chase anyone with a cute purse.
Fighter pilots subsist on a diet consisting entirely of coffee, cigarettes, chewing tobacco, beer, and whiskey.
Fighter pilots are better and cooler than you.
Fighter pilots each have their own "Verizon network" consisting entirely of bikini clad beer girls with loose morals. Can you beer me now? Good.
Fighter pilots usually are given testosterone-ridden call signs like "Jockstrap" or "Whiplash." However, those who try to name themselves are invariably given the call sign "Manbitch." (See F-15 pilot comment above.
Fighter pilots are a dying breed: Sadly, The last real fighter pilot has been born.
In 20 years, all fighters will be unmanned. The world will be a sadder place for it.
Though you might think you are…YOU will NEVER be a fighter pilot.
Fighter pilots can fly ANYTHING, better than anyone else. They could even fly heavy transport aircraft, but they would certainly never want to, nor do they NEED to.
Fighter pilots are often seen as exceedingly arrogant and full of themselves. However, they have earned it, so do not scoff. Remember that YOU will never get to fly that fighter jet!
If you wish to take down a fighter pilot, don't even think about it when he's anywhere within a hundred kilometers of his flying metal monster. Wait till he's on the ground and you have a M1 Abrams at your disposal, unless he's flying an A-10, in which case you're fucked.
They don't give a shit if the pattern is full. They WILL buzz the tower whenever they damn well please.
The Thunderbirds and Blue Angels are NOT fighter pilots. They are Movie Star wanna-be’s. Ther are recruiting tools (Tool is the operative word there) They may be re-admitted to the role of the fighter pilot when they move on to their next assignment is the “BIRDS or BLUES” stink wears off sufficiently…otherwise, they will be sent to wing staff and shoe clerk/Executive Officer or Public Affairs officer status.
Fighter pilots have a secret hand gesture and handshake. They will never tell you what they are, and you will never see them do them in public (unless you are a hot, slightly drunk, 25-year old nymphomaniac stripper attending the O-Club on a Friday night.)