Fighter Pilot University
FU Store

LPA Alive and Well

Posted by admin on June 2, 2008

IRON MAN LPA SETS NEW BAR

Most of you, I’m sure, are familiar with the “Lieutenants Protection Association” or LPA, at least that's what it's referred to in the USAF, and every military flying organization, what ever you call it, has something like it at the squadron level.  For those of you that aren't familiar, it’s a tradition for the FNG* Lt’s to form an “Association” to protect themselves from being hazed by the “old heads” in a fighter squadron.  Additionally, the LPA has always been the heart and soul of any squadron worth a shit.  The role of the LPA has been an integral part of any healthy fighter squadron and will continue to be for many years to come.  They do everything from being great wingmen, making kickass jalapeno popcorn for the bros, and most importantly stock the squadron bar with cold beer, good whiskey, and Jeremiah Weed (very close to JP-8).

The FU LPA (yes we have one too) has recently received information confirming the LPA is as vibrant and active as it’s ever been.  The 71st Fighter Squadron “Iron Man LPA” have completed a search and capture mission that is absolutely world class and illustrates what a bunch of motivated Lieutenants can do when put to the task of restocking the bar with fine whiskey.  Read the following volley between the Iron Man LPA and the Air Combat Command Vice Commander and prepare to laugh your ass off.  It shows that the LPA is still at the tip of the spear, and the CV's respsonse demonstrates that same spirit is alive in well in our senior leaders.  LPA units around the planet, the bar’s been set and it’s pretty damn high!

*(F*cking New Guy)

IRON MEN LPA RANSOM LETTER: 
                                  


DEPARTMENT OF THE AIR FORCE

LPA HEADQUARTERS

71st FIGHTER SQUADRON

LANGLEY AIR FORCE BASE VA





 

 

MEMORANDUM FOR ACC/A8ZR

 

FROM:  71st FS/LPA

 

SUBJECT: Missing  AIM-120B AMRAAM

 

1.  It has come to our attention that you may be in need of an Aim-120 AMRAAM for display in front of your ACC building.  We believe that such a display of hate, death, and destruction is appropriate for ACC and all the war fighting units that answer to it.

 

2.  It just so happens that the Award Winning 71st Fighter Squadron Lieutenant Protection Agency, Weapons and Tactics Division, does in-fact have such a missile, suitable for display, available in stock.  Realize that this missile comes as is, no warranties actual or implied, and no returns, refunds, or exchanges are available.

3.  We feel that for the good of morale at ACC and to showcase to all who enter the compound that the mighty might of the US Government, US Air Force, and ACC, a missile would make a fine addition to your display.

4.  We're willing to take a loss on this one, just for you.  Out the door price, tax, tag, and paperwork, 1 (one) handle of booze (no cheap shit).  Shipping and handling fees are extra.  Should you like us to deliver and install, well you can understand the labor of love that one is, so just add another handle there and we'll see that you get your proud display of death and destruction up front there.

5.  Supplies are limited.  This one is stock was slated to go on permanent display in the 71st FS "heritage" room.  But if you act NOW, we can hold it for you indefinitely.

6.  We look forward to your response.  If you have any questions, please feel free to contact the LPA via e-mail at ironmenlpa@gmail.com.

 

////SIGNED////

71 FS LPA

Weapons and Tactics







(FU Notes:  This AMRAAM picture is believed to be the actual hostage missile, in the 71st squadron bar.  Quite incriminating.  Also, check out the 71st LPA patch, very subtle but way kickass!  Finally, for those of you that don't know, ACC, Air Combat Command.  Now read the response they got from ACC.)

ACC CV (Vice Commander) RESPONSE:

MEMORANDUM FOR 71 FS/CC     

FROM:  HQ ACC/CV                                                                     28 May 08

 

SUBJECT:  AIM-120B AMRAAM

 

1.  It has recently been brought to my attention that certain members of your squadron, the infamous “Lieutenant Protection Agency” (I thought it was an Association?) have absconded COMACC’s AIM-120 AMRAAM that was proudly displayed in front of the ACC/A8 building.  Rather than being upset, I must tell you that I am very impressed by the initiative shown by the LPA to reintroduce a spirit of camaraderie and competition that seems waning from personnel assigned to your ACC Staff.

 

2.  Air Combat Command has been searching for a group of highly motivated, energetic, and creative individuals to bolster morale and bring the warrior mentality to the newest squadrons of MQ-1 Predator and MQ-9 Reapers being worked very hard in surge operations at Creech Air Force Base in Indian Springs, Nevada.  This daring raid has demonstrated these individuals can and will bring needed esprit de corps to the newest platforms in the Air Force inventory.  I would be remiss in letting these hard chargers go it alone to Creech, so I am recommending a talented Weapons Officer lead our newest Predator pilots on their journey to Nevada.  I believe Captain Diablo Guerrini, will fill this role nicely. 

 

3.  Per my orders, my Exec, Lt Col Andy “Freewilly” Freeman, has contacted AFPC to get all of the members of the LPA plus one Weapons Officer out to augment Creech AFB soonest.  Our Combat Air Force is in need of more UAS pilots with unrelenting initiative. If you have any questions, you can contact him at 574-2913.

 

4.  Again your LPA’s activities have been noticed and are being rewarded by getting you into the fight.  Aim High.

 

Respectfully, your Vice Commander

 

 

//Signed//

R. Michael Worden

Major General, USAF

Vice Commander, ACC

 

(PS: Freewilly has the ransom bottles for the AMRAAM)


(Another FU note: Apparently this is the new assignment pipeline for the 71st Fighter Squadron LPA.  Never planned to have a picture of one of these on this site.  Makes that white jet look pretty good.)

 

 

 

Comments:

You must be logged in to leave a reply. Login »
 

Fighter Pilot University   |   1267 NW 355th, Holden, Missouri 64040   |   1-888-456-WTFO (9836)   |   info@fighterpilotuniversity.com
© 2019 Fighter Pilot University. Web development by Shout Marketing