Kickass Hangover Story
Some fighter pilots, on occasion, enjoy a drink with their squadron buds. Once in while that bit of camaraderie may occur on a night prior to the next days training sortie. All military flying organizations have regulations that govern the amount of time that must pass between consumption of an alcoholic beverage and taking control of a fighter jet and certainly, no fighter pilot would ever violate that policy. However, that doesn’t always prevent a fighter pilot from feeling rough after a night of revelry.
In the 80’s and through the mid-90’s the A-10 squadrons from RAF Bentwaters in the UK would spend a considerable amount of time at their forward operating locations in Germany. Usually, the first night after arriving at Leipheim, Sembach, Norvenich or Ahlhorn, the A-10 guys would partake of extended festivities at the O’Club. On one particular occasion this led to possibly the greatest and most professional hangover story of all time.
For ease of telling this story, let’s call this episode fighter pilot, Coach. No specific reason, a name just snatched out of the air. Most definitely any resemblance to past or current A-10 pilots is purely, absolutely, positively, undeniably, categorically, without a doubt a coincidence.
On this particular deployment the 511th TFS had just arrived at Leipheim Air Base, Germany, 100 miles west of Munich. As usual, the evening festivities in the German O’Club kicked ass. Leipheim had been a Me-262 base in World War II and the Club was still located in the original building so fighter pilot atmosphere, history and camaraderie filled the place. Coach and the other eight A-10 guys had a great night.
Next morning was a different story. The numerous Pils, Apfelkorns and Unterbergs had taken their toll. Rough, was an understatement of the way the Warthog guys were feeling. However, like the professionals they were, the morning flyers dragged themselves to the ops building, got their intell and weather reports then briefed up for their missions.
Fighter pilots like to do things precisely, on time and as briefed. Coach was no different. After taxiing his flight of two A-10’s to the end of the runway, arming up the jets and ensuring fresh air from the open canopies until the very last moment, he called on the FM radio, “Canopies…now.” On command his wingman, like thousands and thousands of times across the US Air Force, closed his canopy exactly in unison with his flight lead. Unfortunately, once in position on the runway with his wingman along side, Coach was over come by an uncontrollable urge to evacuate the contents of his stomach. Maintaining professional control of the situation and certainly flight integrity, Coach again keyed the FM radio and called, “Canopies up…now.” Again the wingman reacted as expected and the canopies of
USAF A-10 Warthog
Photo by Alex Christie
both jets, on the runway, rose in harmony. Ahh, the fresh air poured in cooling Coach’s sweat covered face but it was too late to stop the inevitable. Leaning over the canopy rail, Coach hurled right there on the runway. (Picture not included.) Wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his flight suit and keying the FM again, Coach called, “Canopies…now” and down they came like a single, well oiled machine. Turning the air conditioner to max cool, five seconds later the two-ship was rolling down the runway.
Such discipline and amazing flight integrity is truly a wonderful thing to see, except for the puking on the runway part. I’m guessing the sortie that followed was a relatively low G mission. You know what they say though, you gotta hop right back in the saddle, and apparently the second night was pretty good too.
