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Fighter Pilot Child Development Books: Book 2

Posted by rowdy on January 7, 2014

Are you grooming your child to become a fighter pilot? Of course you are. As in previous weeks, Fighter Pilot University would like to assist you in that process by recommending a series of children’s books that will help your child develop the skills, talents and characteristics necessary to become a top notch fighter pilot.
These aren’t books about flying, aerial combat or aviation techniques. You can get that kind of stuff anywhere. No, these unique books will provide your youngster with the personality, distinctive traits and attributes that your child will need to survive in the fighter pilot world of egos, arrogance and self-importance.

Paddington Gets Tanked teaches your future fighter pilot about the etiquettes of social drinking. Whether your child eventually decides to participate in the consumption of alcoholic beverages or not, there are valuable lessons in Paddington Gets Tanked.  For example:
  • People behave differently under the influence of alcohol. Some are happy, friendly and generous (like a Paddington Bear). Some become mean, obnoxious and aggressive (like Predator or Alien).
  • Don’t buy into the statement, “I was drunk, I didn’t mean it.” Yes, they did.
  • How to avoid high stakes games of chance when intoxicated.  Or if you’re not, how to take advantage in such a game when others are.
  • How to handle the guy that’s always conveniently absent when it’s time to buy a round but suddenly reappears after the drinks are delivered.
  • What to do when the designated driver ends up more inebriated than you.
  • How to take care of the commander’s/boss’ intoxicated wife after she hits on you at the Christmas party.
  • Ways to avoid escalating the situation when you’re wife/girlfriend calls you an asshole.
  • Techniques to help you determine if she really is as good looking as your mind might think.
  • …and much, much more.
Paddington Gets Tanked does not promote or encourage the use of alcoholic beverages. It provides your future fighter pilot with the options and procedures to follow when they inevitably encounter intoxicated people, whether or not he chooses to partake himself. Of course, the legal drinking age is just that, however, some of these protocols require years to master and can be learned, with your help, without the use of alcohol, so Paddington Gets Tanked is designed for the pre-teen.
Do not allow your child to grow up and enter the hard charging, sometimes heavy drinking, bar crawling fighter pilot world without these priceless tools needed for late night survival. Buy Paddington Gets Tanked and help your youngster start prefecting these skills today.
Also contains a convenient and comprehensive list of drink recipes. Have hours of fun showing your child the intricacies of mixing drinks and developing the skill of the precision pour.
Remember, as we always say at Fighter Pilot University…

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Posted by arlo on
"Ways to avoid escalating the situation when you’re wife/girlfriend calls you an asshole."

Escalating the situation? You mean escalating the situation to wide-eyed sex all night long? I always took that as a come-on when a woman wanted sex after the classic "Brush off" technique. It's common knowledge that if you want a woman to forget you, just compliment her on her hair, perfume, eye color ad nauseum. If you want to score, just tell the gal to "Walk north/south/east/west (depending on the appropriate great circle nav path to a large body of water) until your hat floats."
Posted by fendrick on
I never had a problem when I was tanked. I was invisible. Sadly,my wife disagreed.
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