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Fighter Pilots and Friends

Posted by aaron on June 19, 2009

Fighter pilots have lots of friends. Unless they’re a total dick (yes, it’s rare, but there are fighter pilots that are real jerks), then they have no friends at all. Not surprisingly, a lot of those friends are other fighter pilots. So it’s not uncommon to make a stop in some city for an evening or a couple days to call up an old bud and meet for a few amber nectars. Sometimes these reunions take place after not seeing each other for a number of years and there may be some surprises in the way of weight gained, hair lost, life events, etc.
 
In an effort to help you avoid any gawking, open-mouthed expressions, should you encounter one of these types of get-togethers, we here at Fighter Pilot University want you to be aware of some of the obvious and subtle changes that may have occurred to an old friend.
 
Recently, Borg stopped in Ft Worth for the night and he and I met up with an old squadron mate of our's. I’m not saying that all these issues apply to that meeting; I’m just using it to generate some thoughts and ideas. Here are some of the things you might see, should you run into an old fighter pilot friend, somewhere, sometime.

Old Fighter Pilot Friend & Borg
Old Fighter Pilot Squadron Bud & Borg

  

·         Obvious use of Grecian Formula to keep original red, black, brown or blonde hair color.
 
·        Apparent lack of quality amber nectar training, becoming inebriated rather early and easily.
 
·         Having lost much of the spark and magnetism of being a current and qualified fighter pilot, uses Elvis technique of forehead, curly-cue to attract chicks.
 
·         Smokes very large cigar, with the thought that chicks will think there’s some kind of direct relationship between size of cigar and size of certain anatomic features.
 
·         Eagerly informs you of the early seventies Corvette they’ve recently purchased. (A pitiable attempt to attract chicks.)
 
Of course, we could go on and on but our objective here was to simply make you aware that you should expect to see changes in your friends. Now you can go into these little reunions with those expectations and avoid embarrassing your friend with a blank, unbelieving look. Finally, remember that this list of items does not reflect issues with any particular individual, real or imaginary.

Comments:

Posted by Sandy on
what Loft, no comment here?
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