"There I Was"

Some of the best stories I've heard in the bar start out with "There I was." Here's one about two famous Phantom drivers going out on a Aircraft Handling Ride. 
To set the stage, picture you and some of your bros at the squadron bar after a day of flying. You've seen the scene many times, multiple guys telling stories with their hands, someone laughing at themselves while making an entry in the doofer book about some buffoonery from that days mission, another group of bros bitching about waiting in line on the support side of the base hoping to get paid, or guys giving a recap of the heinous shoe clerk sensitivity training they attended all day and how they missed out on yet another day of flying.

In walks Robin Olds, and he says, "Pour me a cold one boys do I have a story to tell." We are all ears as Robin says, "have any of you guys ever done a tail slide in an F-4 with a touch of aileron?" "Well, let me tell you about my second sortie in the F-4 with Bill Kirk, and how I told him I wanted to experience adverse yaw." Robin goes on to explain (Robin in Blue, Bill in Red):
So we went up we went in a vertical climb. Indicated about 150k and Bill said,
" Now . . just touch the ailerons a bit as we slide backward, Colonel "
The bird went apeshit. Dirt and pencil stubs were on the canopy over my head.
The bird was in a true tumble . . end over end . . while rotating.
Tumbling down past 15K Bill said, " Time to GET OUT, sir ! "
" No way ! " I told him. I'll ' get her ' . . in the next couple of turns ! "
Then, both engines had flamed out.
But Bill had showed me how to extend the RAT so the flight controls wouldn't ' freeze ' up on us. Then I experimented with an intuitive combination of rudder, aileron and elevators. Sometimes all the way to control detent limits.
Finally the Phantom ' popped out ' of the ' thing ' at 6,000 feet.
So I yelled : " THAT WAS FUN ! LET'S CLIMB BACK UP . . AND DO IT AGAIN !
The Captain said to his student : NO F---K'N WAY, COLONEL ! "
So I never tried it again. But I now knew the secret of how to put the fear of
God in my replacement pilots . . thanks to Bill Kirk . . one of the best fighter pilots I ever flew with.
So we all laugh our asses as he takes a gulp of cold beer and says "How does every good fighter pilot song start?" So we all yell out in perfect harmony, Da Nant Da Nant Nant Nant---, then we sing for hours and hours, and it was good and we liked it, and there was much rejoicing!
Tales That I Can Tell -- By Dick Jonas
Hey, I didn't hear you singing!
Put on your damn FU Garb and report the Bar for remedial song training!
Comments:
Doc


