Fighter Pilot University - The Bar

Bourbon and Babes

Fri, 13 Aug 2010 05:40:00-0500

There are certain qualities a fighter pilot looks for when trying to find "The Girl" for him. It almost sounds like the babe in this video is describing one of us here at FU. Am I missing something? If you can find a girl like this out there, you've earned yourself a great bourbon to celebrate!

Stupid Question

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 06:36:00-0500

The Germans are hard to beat when it comes to making fast cars, great airplanes, and a few other things I guess. OBTW, No, I really don't care that I'm not the first!

Rowdy's Moving to Germany, Again!

Mon, 17 May 2010 20:47:00-0500

Rowdy is off to Europe this summer to begin yet another stint in Germany drinking copious amounts of fine wine and good beer. I’m sure most of you have noticed a lack of articles on the site recently. Borg and I will get off our asses and fix that. Rowdy has been keeping our site world class for the last three years and we intend to keep that going, so please forgive our lack of new material lately.

Borg, Rowdy, and I would like to make a plug for our student body to submit articles to post as well. If you have a funny story (real or embellished), a great video, or just something you would like to say to world---please send it to us at: Jolly@fighterpilotuniversity.com , Borg@fighterpilotuniversity.com, or Rowdy@fighterpilotuniversity.com. We will get it in the right format and put it on the site, plus we will give you credit for the article. If you want to remain anonymous, that’s fine too.

Feel free to make some comments below about how we can improve our site. We always take inputs from the student body seriously, and while you’re at it wish Rowdy and Sandy happy trails on The Griswald European Vacation!

Memo to Snako -- Not These Beers!

Mon, 29 Mar 2010 06:00:00-0500

The FU Beer tasting team drank at the Breckenridge Brewery, a fairly well known place in the Rockies. They produce a couple of respectable beers and serve good food. One of the featured brews was, get this, Breckenridge Brewery Blueberry Porter! So we were thinking: how San Francisco/Key West gay is that? That's beyond the French speaking, sit to pee winner - Stella Artois-Light! We expected to see a group of light-in-the-loafers flight attendants clamoring around the bar for a little sip.

So the FU Beer tasting team thought it might be fun to start a list that we can add to with your help; kind of a 'Letterman' list if you will. Please post your comments below and we will add to the list as we go. So, here are the first two on our list of:

BEERS YOU WILL NEVER SEE IN A FIGHTER SQUADRON BAR:

1) Breckenridge Brewery Blueberry Porter

2) Stella Artois - Light
3) Zima
4) Michelobe Ultra (Sorry D-Day)
5) Mount Gay Rum (Trap---never heard of this one?)
6) ????? Feel free to add below in the comment section

Fighter Pilot Personal Bar

Thu, 04 Feb 2010 06:01:00-0500

Those were drinking days and most men drank hard.

Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

Every fighter pilot in the world wants to own a bar. Either a no kidding money making commercial establishment or, at the very least, a kickass in-home bar. Take our Rostock, Germany friends, Hurrel and Hooters. They're retired Luftwaffe fighter pilots and owners of the Schallmauer (Sound Barrier), a kickass bar in northern Deutschland. On the in-home bar side, we got some pictures recently from Krash, a Fighter Pilot University alum. These are photos of his kickass home bar, The Krash Landing. Kickass name too. Established in 2009; only has a couple hundred years to catch up with some of the older drinking establishments around the world but this is a great start. There are fighter pilots the world over that would give their left nad for a bar like this. What an awesome little piece of heaven on earth. Krash says we're all invited.

What a kickass sight to come home to.

I see the Jack.

OK, you gotta have some FU gear if you're going to have a fighter pilot bar at home. Maybe the best thing to have from the FU Store is this kickass 22 ounce beer mug. This one is emblazoned with the 92nd Fighter Squadron, no longer in existance. With over 150 designs in the FU Store you're sure to find something you'll like. Retired squadron patches, present squadron patches, fighter designs, kickass fighter pilot designs, roundels; it's all there in the FU Store. FU gear will make your bar, commercial or at home, a way more kickass place. Get to the FU Store today. Visit often. Buy often. Kickass!!

Very Important Correction

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 06:00:00-0500

A number of months ago I mentioned a pub crawl I had done in London. During that event description I stated that there were no mass produced lagers made in the UK. A buddy of mine, a pub owner for goodness sakes, pointed out that I’m an idiot. Kevin runs the White Lion pub in Crewe, near Manchester. After seeing my UK lager statement he sent me an e-mail to let me know that I was wrong and that a very fine lager indeed is made in the UK; Carling. Of course, when it comes to beer I’m not going to argue with a publican, and most certainly he’s right, although it’s not a beer that you find on tap in London very often. Not sure why, since as I said, it is a quite tasty amber nectar. I did finally find Carling on tap in a London pub and documented the event. So there’s the correction. By the way, I’m going to be at the White Lion in October to apologize to Kevin and, without a doubt, tip a few amber nectars.

When you are participating in the consumption
of amber nectar, here's the perfect shirt to
show people you're serious. At the FU Store.

Fighter Pilots and Friends

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 06:00:00-0500

Fighter pilots have lots of friends. Unless they’re a total dick (yes, it’s rare, but there are fighter pilots that are real jerks), then they have no friends at all. Not surprisingly, a lot of those friends are other fighter pilots. So it’s not uncommon to make a stop in some city for an evening or a couple days to call up an old bud and meet for a few amber nectars. Sometimes these reunions take place after not seeing each other for a number of years and there may be some surprises in the way of weight gained, hair lost, life events, etc.

In an effort to help you avoid any gawking, open-mouthed expressions, should you encounter one of these types of get-togethers, we here at Fighter Pilot University want you to be aware of some of the obvious and subtle changes that may have occurred to an old friend.

Recently, Borg stopped in Ft Worth for the night and he and I met up with an old squadron mate of our's. I’m not saying that all these issues apply to that meeting; I’m just using it to generate some thoughts and ideas. Here are some of the things you might see, should you run into an old fighter pilot friend, somewhere, sometime.

Old Fighter Pilot Squadron Bud & Borg

· Obvious use of Grecian Formula to keep original red, black, brown or blonde hair color.

· Apparent lack of quality amber nectar training, becoming inebriated rather early and easily.

· Having lost much of the spark and magnetism of being a current and qualified fighter pilot, uses Elvis technique of forehead, curly-cue to attract chicks.

· Smokes very large cigar, with the thought that chicks will think there’s some kind of direct relationship between size of cigar and size of certain anatomic features.

· Eagerly informs you of the early seventies Corvette they’ve recently purchased. (A pitiable attempt to attract chicks.)

Of course, we could go on and on but our objective here was to simply make you aware that you should expect to see changes in your friends. Now you can go into these little reunions with those expectations and avoid embarrassing your friend with a blank, unbelieving look. Finally, remember that this list of items does not reflect issues with any particular individual, real or imaginary.

Fighter Pilots & Chicks

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 06:00:00-0500

Comics courtesy of our bud at Air Force Blues.

Pretty much everyone knows that this is the way it should go when a fighter pilot meets the opposite sex. Just four simple words and the hook is set. It happens in bars all over the world every day and night.

Now there are rare occasions when that targeted member of the opposite sex is not impressed with who you are. More than likely, unlike the situation above, this person has suffered a head injury or an illness, with an associated high fever, which does not allow their brain to function normally there after. When this lack of wonder, awe and admiration isn't readily apparent, it's best for the fighter pilot to extract himself quickly so as not to embarrass the intended conquest by highlighting their obvious disability.

When you're out carousing, make sure you wear the right thing that says, "Look at me, I'm a fighter pilot." Sure, it's obvious to most people but why not help the folks that are a little slow. Get some FU gear. Now there will be no doubt, in any place you walk into, that you are a fighter pilot. Don't make it hard for the people that have a little difficulty making up their mind. Just put it out there with FU gear; yes, I am a fighter pilot, your adoration is fine and, really, it's expected. Get your FU gear in the FU Store.

American Bar Crawl

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 06:00:00-0500

We had a couple articles lately about pub crawls in London. I thought it would be fun to do something similar right here at home. However, when you live in suburbia USA it's not easy to just go out and walk from one establishment to another. You gotta drive and you need a designated driver. Plus, there are a lot of pretty generic bars; not much unique from one to another. So I'm thinking, what can I use to compare one watering hole to another, what could be a central theme for an American bar crawl. That's when it came to me, waitresses! With that decided we set out to some of the local PG rated bar & grills. Below is the documentation of our evening, just four stops. Pictures are in the order of our visits.

Just for comparison, I didn't find any waitresses like these in London.

(See if you can find the Playboy bunny image.)

Chelsea at Bone Daddy's

Jessi at Twin Peaks

Chelsey at Cutie Pies

Amanda at Hooters

A Call to Arms

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 06:00:00-0500

There is an international crisis of epic proportions going on right now. 1500 pubs are closing every year in the UK. OK, you say, "Big deal it's in England. Why should I care?" This is the exact kind of socio-economic situation that can undermine history and tradition and rapidly spread if it takes hold in one of the bastions of amber nectar consumption. Today with the Internet and FedEx, ideas, concepts, theories, thought processes and outrageous notions can travel rapidly across oceans, over mountains and traverse vast deserts in a matter of hours, even seconds. Yes, today these pub closures are a problem in the UK but tomorrow it could be happening to the brasseries in France, the gasthauses of Germany and even the taverns, saloons, dives and bars of the USA.

The reasons for these UK pub closures are pretty simple. Higher costs to run a pub and fewer customers. Costs include higher rent and increased fuel bills. The highest tax increase in a decade on a pint of beer has raised the price of drinking in pubs, which, along with aggressive beer discounts in supermarkets, encourage people to drink at home. Even the recent ban on indoor smoking across England has caused locals to begrudge a trip to the pub.

To counter the down turn in the economy and clientele, pubs owners are encouraged to concentrate on the "5-f's"; food, families, females, forty-somethings and fifty-somethings. That will certainly help focus their efforts but to help turn the tide, local folks have got to be on the lookout for signs that their favorite watering hole is having economic problems. Should you observe such indicators, it is imperative that you call your friends, who call their friends and so on and so on, and all of you immediately rush to the troubled establishment for a bit of the amber nectar. Your actions could save a bar.

Now, just to show you how horrible this pub closure phenomenon can be, I was recently in London on a pub crawl with a couple of friends. We were in the Mayfair area of London, just east of Hyde Park. We had already visited a couple of quite nice pubs, Ye Grapes and The Punchbowl. Next on our list was The Red Lion; first established in the 18th century. Photos of the Red Lion watered my taste buds and I knew it was going to be a relaxing and enjoyable stop. All the reviews were outstanding. One said that it was the favorite London pub of Tom Jones the singer. As we walked up the street, we were dealt a devastating blow. The Red Lion was closed. Not just for the day, closed forever. FOREVER!

Below is the picture of what was left. It is not for the faint of heart. Certainly do not allow grown men to view this photo without a warning of what he is about to see. The human psyche was not built to handle this kind of disappointment.

Now do you understand the insidious nature of the crisis? This could happen to you. It could happen right down your street. It could happen over and over again in your town. Sure, there were signs that the Red Lion was in trouble, just like hundreds of other pubs, but the locals did not take heed of the call, a call to arms. A call to the Anglesea Arms, Queen Arms, Argyll Arms, Warwick Arms, Stanhope Arms and other great pubs like the Old Cock, Elephant and Castle and Barrow Boy & Banker. Don't let this happen to you, to your friends, to your community. Stay vigilant!!

Now here's a great shirt to wear when you're out for a few amber nectars. People will definitely talk to you. First, they'll know that you're a fighter pilot, so the chicks will be all over you and guys will want to experience your aura. Second, people will think your shirt kicksass. Third, they're going to want to know where they can get one. You know, another kickass thing about wearing this shirt when you're out for a few beers is that people that don't like you, or your shirt, will talk to you too. Those situations are always interesting to see how they develop. I never wore this shirt during my pub crawls in England but I'm sure it would have been met with a favorable response. Now that I think of it, I'll bet this shirt would be a real ice breaker in just about any foreign country. Get your's at the FU Store and be the center of attention wherever you go.

DAMN IT!! DRINK RESPONSIBLY!!

When In The Bar. . .Use Caution!

Fri, 30 Jan 2009 06:00:00-0500

We've warned you about this before.
Now with the scientific evidence
of this particular phenomenon,
staring you in the face, once again,
we say to you, USE FREAKING CAUTION!!

The Wingman Handbook

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 06:00:00-0500

We pulled this entry out of the bowels of our web site. It was one of the first articles we ever had on Fighter Pilot University. A lot of people have read it but to allow more folks to enjoy The Wingman Handbook here it is again.

Fighter pilot lexicon has greatly infiltrated the English language. Phrases like balls to the wall, get out of dodge, and the whole nine yards come from the colorful language of fighter pilots. No better term than “wingman” demonstrates this phenomenon.

We received The Wingman Handbook from a friend. We have no idea who put this together but we certainly acknowledge his kickass genius.

F-BOMB ALERT!!

(Explicit language Present)

The wingman is arguably the noblest creature to ever step into a bar.

Who else, with cavalier disregard for his personal reputation, is so willing to throw himself upon the cruel mercies of a brazen man-hater, just so his buddy can hook up with a sorority girl with big gazongas? Who else, with just a hint of a grimace, will selflessly dirty dance with a creature so hideous that no amount of hard liquor will wash the stain from his memory? Who else, especially if he’s loaded to the gills, will stand in the deepest depths of hell just so a pal can climb up his back into hook-up heaven?

Whose sterling motto is, “You are going to so owe me, dude.”

None else but the wingman, the King Leonidas of the saloon.

What a Wingman Does

And just as that brave (some say suicidally insane) Spartan king and his hundred warriors laid down their lives against a hundred thousand Persians, so will the wingman, with the right amount of prodding, recklessly lunge into battle against foes twice his size and half his intellect, fully knowing there is no way in hell that the night will end well.

[More]

Fighter Pilot = Arrogant Bastard

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 06:00:00-0500

A lot of people think that fighter pilots are arrogant bastards and in most cases they’re probably right. Given that, a perfect match could very well be the fighter pilot and Arrogant Bastard Ale. We especially like their slogan, “You’re not worthy”, which is pretty much a typical fighter pilot attitude.

See the connection? Fighter pilot--conceit--Arrogant Bastard Ale.

Arrogant Bastard Ale is produced by the Stone Brewery Company in Escondido, California. Stone Brewery also makes other kickass beers like Ruination IPA and Levitation Ale but Arrogant Bastard is the flagship of their fleet. The attitude of their entire presentation of this unique ale is distinct and intimidating. They take the approach that most folks aren’t worthy of their potent ale. Stone Brewery feels that most people are “tasteless fizzy yellow beer drinking ninnys” and just can’t handle their aggressive Arrogant Bastard Ale. They’ve got a great animated depiction of their attitude concerning their ale and beer drinkers in general.

Visit the Arrogant Bastard web site and you’ll see just about the closest thing to a fighter pilot in the commercial business world.

We at Fighter Pilot University are big fans Arrogant Bastard Ale. In fact, we'd go so far as to say it kicksass!! Give it a try, see if you're worthy. We are.

Friends at The Bar

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 06:00:00-0500

F-BOMB ALERT!!

(Explicit image present)

The more friends at The Bar the better.
However, at some point, it just gets to be too many.

Beer Goggle Warning, Part 2

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 06:00:00-0500

The power of the amber nectar affects both sexes equally. For female fighter pilots, that power of plain to beautiful can most certainly turn that dud of a guy into a strapping, engaging Adonis. That can sometimes create a difficult moment the following morning.

Fighter pilots, both men and women, have encountered the uncomfortable moment of waking up the morning after succumbing to the power of the amber nectar. If the fighter pilot discovers that the person lying next to them is someone they no longer desire or care for there’s an obvious problem; how to get them to leave. For the male fighter pilot, it’s usually not much of an issue because in his typical boorish, male manner he’ll probably just say, “You need to leave.” For the female fighter pilot, there are still present those feminine inklings of compassion and concern for the feelings of others so maybe the direct approach isn’t an option.

Here at Fighter Pilot University we wish to assist our fellow fighter pilots wherever possible and that is why we present the video below. For the female fighter pilot, should you find yourself in the situation already mentioned, this video will show you an alternative to the early morning confrontation after the one-night-stand. Here’s a technique that will get that guy out of the bed and out your front door in a hurry, without a single, spoken word.

DAMN IT! DRINK RESPONSIBLY!