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Future Bitch Sessions

Posted by Jolly on October 10, 2011

We all know about the God-given ability/obligation for fighter pilots to bitch. We see things much clearer and with greater understanding than normal mortals. Fighter pilots can bitch about things and come up with a solution before the problems even exist. We are that all-knowing.
 
One of the common bitch and complaint sessions I hear from my peers is the breakdown in the older fighter pilot’s health.  I notice that the body definitely doesn’t feel as good after double turning as it did 10 years ago. Whether it’s the hemorrhoids, back aches, neck aches, dehydration, one hour bladder, blah blah blah; its apparent to me that flying fighters was intended by God to be done by young men. We take pride in bitching about how much it hurts and our divine ability to put off the pain for the good of all. What we really want to show is how cool we obviously are to still be doing what very few get to do no matter the cost to our bodies. This struck an idea in my pea brain… what are the new age predator pilots (NAPPS) going to bitch about? I’ve made a possible top ten list.
 
Predator 1. Carpel tunnel
2. Cross eyed syndrome
3. Apathy
4. Having to hide at the club so as not to tell the cool admin folks with the great jobs (who now get all the chicks) what YOU do.
5. Catching summer colds in those freezing simulator rooms.
6. That f**king traffic on the way home from Creech.
7. Where’s my replacement? I’ve been sitting in front of this contraption for hours and my kids have a ball game tonight.
8. Anxiety attacks over what to tell your grandkids when the time comes.
9. Having to attend those “self esteem” group meetings.
10. Plodding through the required “signs of suicide” computer based training (CBT) and realizing you have 8 out of ten indicators.
 
So you can see that each generation has its own set of problems. In this case my advice to these poor bastards is to drink heavily; ten years is a long time. Look at the bright side… by the time you’re done the airlines will probably be remote control as well. Your layovers will be at home with the wife and kids. Almost like Bangkok.

Then There's The Dos Gringos Bitch Session

While you're bitching at the bar, do it with an FU Stein!

 

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Comments:

Posted by Jolly on
From Mike:

Bless u from this old A4 jock. The G's hv made their way into my shorts. Thank goodness for modern medicine....
Posted by Jolly on
From Unknown Predator Dude:

1st off I am the guy in the pic. unlike the poor bastard to my left I am not stuck in that damn chair for 10 years. I am the enlisted guy that has to sit next to the guy who is justifiably pissed off for working so damn hard to then get stuck there. For the record the uav pilots do bitch about some of those things but mostly just about how much they got screwed. Thankfully I was able to get out and I am back in college to pursue getting into a real cockpit. I just pray that there will still be some fighters for guys like me in 2 years.
Posted by jmuxen on
This is coming from an old enlisted corpsman on a chopper air-sea rescue team, so I can't claim to know much about fighter pilots. I will, however,
pass this "bitch session" along to my son, who is an Engineer at Raytheon
in Tucson. They are the outfit that manufactures alot of the Drone equip.

Jim Muxen, HM2
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