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SNAPs On Wall Street

Posted by Jolly on October 24, 2011


SNAP is an endearing term that not only stands for Sensitive New Age Pilot, but apparently it also stands for “Sensitive New Age Progressives” too.  I had this video forwarded to me by Sieg.  It’s by commentator Bill Whittle who has a show called “Afterburner.”  Hey, if it's called "Afterburner" it can’t be all bad.  The video outlines a program called Three and a Half Days and is designed to help all the SNAPs occupying Wall Street.  The video is outstanding, and will be added to our previous SNAP Intervention Academics posted a few years ago.  I think you’ll enjoy the video, and it’s good advice for all our do gooder SNAPs in the PC military.  The FU anit-SNAP coalition will conduct a review of SNAP Intervention Academics following the video.  But first, take it away Wild Bill….

SNAP Intervention Academics

Over the few early morning Mission Planning Cell (MPC) tours, when all you can do is sit around and wait for the ATO to drop, I’ve had a couple of revelations. First, I hate Sensitive New Age Pilots (SNAPs). Second, I find great pleasure in SNAP intervention. Prior to having all this idle time I thought the source of all my anger was stress. Now I realize the catalyst for my ever-increasing “Case of the Ass” (COTA) is the unavoidable, daily interaction with an unprecedented number of scum of the fighter pilot breed-The SNAP. These parasites are infiltrating our ranks and disrupting our time honored traditions and customs. On a personal level, some of the them can be all right. However, they don’t have a clue about what it means to be a fighter pilot. Many erroneously assume that only lieutenants qualify for SNAP-hood.  Sadly, nothing could be further from the truth. Over the past I have noticed that this fraternity, disregard-this sorority’s membership consists of many different ranks. 
Previously, the strong crushed the weak like June Bugs under Oklahoma streetlights. I believe everyone shows up at Pilot Training with unlimited snap_2.jpgpotential. Some rise to the challenge. Others, namely SNAPS, simply f*ck it up. Traditionally, the strong were identified during the early phases of training and were targeted to fly fighters. Today, the bar has been lowered significantly. The initial ID has slid to the right, sometimes as far as their first Operational Fighter Squadron. Foul! I realize it takes effort to build a fighter pilot from the ground up, but just like a father teaches his son how to play baseball, older fighter pilots are charged with the honorable task of educating the next generation of warriors. Historically, a focused training program combined with follow-on mentoring during the critical cocoon year, ensured a 90% success rate of transforming the amoebae into a full fledged fighter pilot. The other 10% seemed to get stuck in endless loop of being blind, splitting from formation, making excuses and embarrassing radio calls, and then demanding an explanation of why lead caused them to go blind in the first place. Eventually these folks riding the short bus were sent to “other jobs” where they could do the least harm. But, instead of withering away they usually end up getting promoted early, breeding more SNAPs, and giving us a never ending COTA.
Today’s SNAP population has increased exponentially. Where has the system failed?   Why are there so many SNAPs? The system has failed because we have snap_4.jpgallowed it to. We can only blame ourselves for neglecting to donkey-punch each and every SNAP as they popped up. The SNAP pop-up commit criteria is ASAP. The shot doctrine is to “BVR Bitch-Slap” each and every SNAP. A little fratricide in hot pursuit of a maneuvering SNAP is acceptable. It usually takes more than one “Bitch Slap” to achieve Pks (probability of Killing the SNAP). 
How do we fix the problem of our growing SNAP population? We need to focus on how to become better fighter pilots. If you are whining without a solution, you better be in the bar—or you are part of the problem. Whining is a sure indicator that you have been infected with SNAP. It’s an insidious disease and most don’t realize they have it until it’s too late.   We need to teach building blocks and hold the little SNAPs feet to the fire. They will either sink or swim, and those who sink are better off flying something other than a fighter. There are those who wish to pilot asnap3.jpg fighter, and those that want to become fighter pilots. ID the former for removal from our ranks and we will all be better off. It all boils down to education, training, and most importantly attitude. Most SNAPs are SNAPs because they were never taught how to be a fighter pilot. Flying fighters is a privilege, not a right. Old dudes get up and start working! Your duty is to teach these punks how to act, walk, and talk fighter pilot. Never pass up an opportunity to bitch-slap a SNAP.
Post bitch-slap, the SNAP may cry. 
Therefore be prepared to psychoanalyze
the subject and reconstruct his self-esteem. 
Then repeat the bitch-slap again, and again, and again,
until the SNAP ceases all whining.
SNAP intervention is every fighter pilot’s duty. If someone is acting suspicious, go offensive early. SNAP attack is the only mission where some fratricide is acceptable. I have found great personal and professional pleasure in hunting these vermin. Now, how do we ID these SNAPs? Read on.
Symptoms and Recommended corrective action to prevent SNAP:
Minor Dose: Notify him of SNAP status and administer psychotherapy. Use friendly voice inflections and body language so as not to alarm and cause undue stress.
1.      Whines about the schedule…”I can’t show up at 0400 tomorrow”
2.      Whines about having to mission plan
3.      Whines about having to work after flying
4.      Any Lieutenant that demands an explanation for anything, from anybody
5.      Expects leave during Christmas without prior coordination
6.      Wears socks with sandals, or likes to flip up collar on polo shirts
7.      Asks for food over the radio “C/S on the deck—please bring food”
8.      Any Lt too lazy to take off that damn reflective belt indoors

Medium Dose: Slap his ass back on track. Aggressive but non-threatening behaviors works best with this dumb ass. They need to know their conduct is unbecoming a fighter pilot.
1.      Needs an explanation before getting off his ass and working
2.      Worries more about investments and career progression than BFM
3.      Feels compelled to share his problems with others
4.      The dreaded 500 hour know it all—SHUT THE F*CK UP JACK ASS
5.      Won’t come to the Bar—WTFO?
6.      Won’t sing in the Bar—Auto Bitch-Slap Required
7.      Any Scheduler that schedules their own upgrade IP
8.      Any Captain too lazy to remove reflective belt inside
Heavy Dose: Needs immediate treatment. Start with a swift kick in the Jimmy and a week’s worth of shit detail. Will require follow-on-treatment, so be aggressive popping this zit and apply repeated bitch-slaps (refer to Warning)
1.      Writing in the Doofer Book without having the balls to sign your name
2.      Anyone who thinks flight lead upgrade is about the admin coming and going
3.      Anyone more concerned with their career than flying skills
4.      Says their tape didn’t run and can’t prove any kill shots, then refuses to pay
5.      Has an excuse for going blind
6.      Knows none of the words to standard fighter pilot songs
7.      Asks the bros for votes to become Cosmo Bachelor of the year
8.      Ties sweater around neck or flips up collar on polo shirts
9.      Any 0-4 or higher lacking SA to remove reflective belt indoors
They’re a goner: Send to another job that restricts influence over real fighter pilots
1.      Writes in the Doofer Book and signs someone else’s name
2.      If SNAP is a Democrat or Liberal---Strike that---they are one in the same
3.      Any Weapons School Graduate who whines about MPC duty
4.      Anyone who thinks wearing a reflective belt sets a good example
5.      If they feel compelled to make everything “Gender Neutral”
6.      Thinks singing Fighter Pilot Songs is inappropriate in the O-Club
7.      Violates TDY OPSEC after returning home
8.      Wears pink sweater or polo shirt

Knock off that gay shit and fix your goddamn collor!

Editors Note –
This is an edited version of Nitro’s original SNAP INTERVENTION article, and it contains about 95% of his observations and recommendations. The rest has been revised and edited by the anti-SNAP coalition at Fighter Pilot University.

You too can be a good Wingman!



Posted by Doc on
8 weeks at Fairchild in Feb. should give these Wall Street SNAPs pause!
Posted by Jolly on
Got this from Sieg this morning, excellent points:

By Marybeth Hicks

Call it an occupational hazard, but I can’t look at the Occupy Wall Street protesters without thinking, “Who parented these people?”
As a culture columnist, I’ve commented on the social and political ramifications of the “movement” - now known as “OWS” - whose fairyland agenda can be summarized by one of their placards: “Everything for everybody.”
Thanks to their pipe-dream platform, it’s clear there are people with serious designs on “transformational” change in America who are using the protesters like bedsprings in a brothel.

Yet it’s not my role as a commentator that prompts my parenting question, but rather the fact that I’m the mother of four teens and young adults. There are some crucial life lessons that the protesters’ moms clearly have not passed along.
Here, then, are five things the OWS protesters’ mothers should have taught their children but obviously didn’t, so I will:

• Life isn’t fair. The concept of justice - that everyone should be treated fairly - is a worthy and worthwhile moral imperative on which our nation was founded. But justice and economic equality are not the same. Or, as Mick Jagger said, “You can’t always get what you want.”
No matter how you try to “level the playing field,” some people have better luck, skills, talents or connections that land them in better places. Some seem to have all the advantages in life but squander them, others play the modest hand they’re dealt and make up the difference in hard work and perseverance, and some find jobs on Wall Street and eventually buy houses in the Hamptons. Is it fair? Stupid question.

• Nothing is “free.” Protesting with signs that seek “free” college degrees and “free” health care make you look like idiots, because colleges and hospitals don’t operate on rainbows and sunshine. There is no magic money machine to tap for your meandering educational careers and “slow paths” to adulthood, and the 53 percent of taxpaying Americans owe you neither a degree nor an annual physical.
While I’m pointing out this obvious fact, here are a few other things that are not free: overtime for police officers and municipal workers, trash hauling, repairs to fixtures and property, condoms, Band-Aids and the food that inexplicably appears on the tables in your makeshift protest kitchens. Real people with real dollars are underwriting your civic temper tantrum.

• Your word is your bond. When you demonstrate to eliminate student loan debt, you are advocating precisely the lack of integrity you decry in others. Loans are made based on solemn promises to repay them. No one forces you to borrow money; you are free to choose educational pursuits that don’t require loans, or to seek technical or vocational training that allows you to support yourself and your ongoing educational goals. Also, for the record, being a college student is not a state of victimization. It’s a privilege that billions of young people around the globe would die for - literally.

• A protest is not a party. On Saturday in New York, while making a mad dash from my cab to the door of my hotel to avoid you, I saw what isn’t evident in the newsreel footage of your demonstrations: Most of you are doing this only for attention and fun. Serious people in a sober pursuit of social and political change don’t dance jigs down Sixth Avenue like attendees of a Renaissance festival. You look foolish, you smell gross, you are clearly high and you don’t seem to realize that all around you are people who deem you irrelevant.

• There are reasons you haven’t found jobs. The truth? Your tattooed necks, gauged ears, facial piercings and dirty dreadlocks are off-putting. Nonconformity for the sake of nonconformity isn’t a virtue. Occupy reality: Only 4 percent of college graduates are out of work. If you are among that 4 percent, find a mirror and face the problem. It’s not them. It’s you.
Marybeth Hicks
Posted by jackteague on
Amen, Marybeth Hicks...and Bill Whittle. Really neat. JOT
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